


I'm Fine Without You

by Adavisa



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M, Past Relationship(s), Pre-Canon, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 12:46:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13481775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adavisa/pseuds/Adavisa
Summary: Song lyrics from Without You by Hinder in italics.Tara leaves Charming.





	I'm Fine Without You

_“I just wanna be alone tonight, I just wanna take a little breather,_ ” Eighteen year old Tara Grace Knowles shouted at her boyfriend. “ _Cause lately all we do is fight, and every time it cuts me deeper_. I can’t keep fighting you Jax.”

Jax stormed out of Tara’s room and she heard the distinct slamming of the front door as he stormed outside. Moments later she heard his Harley start and then roar away. Her head hung as tears pricked at her eyes. “ _Cause something’s changed, you’ve been acting so strange and it’s taking it’s toll on me,_ ” she whispered.

Jax had fallen so deeply into the club that Tara barely saw him, and hardly recognized him when she did. She knew the club was into a lot of illegal shit, but she didn’t know what. She was afraid she would end up going to Jax’s funeral before he ever really had the chance to live.

It was a week after she had asked for a night alone, before she saw Jax again. She’d graduated high school the night before, and had no one there to cheer her on as she’d walked across the stage. Even through her mother’s death and her father’s alcoholism, nothing had ever felt as lonely as the near silence from the crowd as she walked across the stage with her honors tassel around her neck, to receive her diploma. Jax walked in her front door like he owned the place, knowing her father was at the bar again.

This time was different though. Tara stopped Jax before he made it to her bedroom. “Jax, we have to talk,” she began.

“I don’t have time to talk Tara,” Jax interrupted, trying to push her toward the bedroom.

"Then you don’t have time for pussy either! I’m moving to Chicago to go to college,” Tara shouted. “I can’t live like this Jax. I’m not your mother. Trailing along behind a biker for the rest of my life isn’t who I am,” she pushed him away with fire in her eyes.

“ _Well, it’s safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave_ ,” Jax snapped before turning and storming back out the door. His bike roared away and this time Tara refused to cry. Jackson Teller had made his choice and she was making her own.

The crisp Chicago air turned out to be just what she needed to clear her head. Sometimes she wondered how she’d gotten caught up in Jax’s world. She loved him, there was no doubt in that. She just wasn't sure if there had ever been room for her in his life. A doctor and an outlaw criminal just didn’t seem to match up.

She had a photo album with pictures from home in it. There were several of her and Jax. “ _Without you, I live it up a little more everyday. Without you, I'm seeing myself so differently. I didn't wanna believe it then, but it all worked out in the end. When I watched you walk away, well I never thought I’d say I'm fine without you_ ,” she whispered as she wiped a single tear from her cheek. She’d always love Jackson Teller, but she was going to be just fine without him.

Tara worked her way through college and med school as a CNA. Even with a full time job, she struggled and had to take out student loans. She finally graduated with honors, but this time there was someone in the crowd cheering for her. Seveal someones, to be more specific. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Opie, Chibs, Tig and Jax were standing up and whooping and hollering like a bunch of idiots. She couldn’t have been happier though.

“ _Called you up cause it's been long enough,”_ Jax said as he pulled her into a hug.

“I’m so glad you all came, Tara said with a sniffle. “I got your last postcard, _and you said that you were so much better_.”

“ _We have done a lot of growing up_ ,” Jax said. “I don’t blame you for leaving anymore. _We were never meant to be together._ Doesn’t mean I won’t always love you though.”

Tara sniffled a little harder as she hugged Jax tightly, “I love you too Jax.”

The men took her out for dinner, before escorting her back to her apartment and heading to their hotel for the night. She’d actually had a great time with them. She often missed the family aspect of hanging out with SAMCRO, even if Gemma had been horrible to her at times. Family wasn't something Tara got to experience at home, or here in Chicago, so it was nice to have an evening of remembering the good things.

The next morning Jax knocked on her door bright and early. He insisted she get dressed and go to breakfast with him before they had to take off for Charming. She reluctantly agreed and let him wait on the couch while she got dressed. They talked amicably as they enjoyed their waffles.

Tara told Jax about med school and he told her about his work in the garage, and that Gemma was pushing him to marry his girlfriend. Jax clearly wasn't on board with that idea, but Tara knew it wouldn't be long before he caved. He always caved to Gemma.

They said their goodbyes at the door of the cafe, and Jax got on his bike to join the others on their ride back to Charming. Tara smiled softly as she watched him go, _“I never thought I’d say I’m fine without you.”_


End file.
